//Happy Father’s Day//

The Walt Disney Pixar Movie Up was on t.v. today so I decided to watch it not knowing what kind of a blubbering mess I was going to get myself into. The film centers on an elderly widower named Carl and an earnest young Wilderness Explorer named Russel. By tying thousands of balloons to his home, 78-year-old Carl sets out to fulfill his lifelong dream to see South America and complete a promise made to his lifelong love who had just passed a way.  

Sounds silly but sitting there watching this movie with my daughter I found myself thinking a lot of “what if” questions. Don’t you hate “What if” scenarios? My mind has been constantly bombarded with them the past few days.  In order for all this to make sense I need to explain what happened to our family so let me rewind back a few days.
Tuesday June 11th was a beautiful day here in Colorado. Riley and I had spent the morning working on a Red Velvet Cheesecake in preperation for Matts birthday the next day.  The kids and I then headed out to Fort Collins to buy birthday presents. I love birthdays. I kind of like to make a big deal out of them and my husband isn’t a fan of making things a big deal (at least when it comes to himself) which makes the entire process even more fun for me! 
When the kids woke up from their nap we decided to go outside so they could play with their new water toy. My phone rang and it was a number I didn’t reconize. I never answer my phone unless I know who it is, but I was waiting for a call back from my Dr. and thought it might be them. A  man’s voice was on the other end asking me if I was Fawn Rosenbohm. I replied “yes” there was a short pause and he then asked me if I was Matt Rosenbohm’s wife and at that moment my heart fell into the ground because I just knew something was wrong. He began to tell me that he was a sheriff and that my husband had apparatnly had a seizure and was in a car accident. I don’t really remember the rest of the details of the call just that he was taken to the hospital.
You never know how you are going to react in a moment like that. We are all familiar with those dramatic scenes played out in t.v. or the movies, but when it becomes a reality in YOUR life it definitely knocks the wind out of you. I kept walking around the house saying “Oh my gosh, oh my gosh” over and over. I called my Mother-in-law then my Sister-in-law who came over to watch my kids so I could leave and go to the hospital. Waiting for her to get to my house felt like an eternity. 
Not knowing what state Matt was going to be in was the hardest part. As I was driving to the hospital he called me (he has no recollection of doing this). The call was cut off but just hearing his voice for a few seconds let me know he was alive. I literally felt faint driving there and thought I was going to have to pull over. Thankfully the hospital is not that far from our house.
Matt probably had about 15 people at the hospital waiting with us to hear how he was. Thankfully we found out that he was ok. No broken bones, no internal bleeding. A few cuts and bruises, a black eye, a swollen foot, extreme confusion and a swollen tongue from bitting  it during the seizure. We were all so thankful. Things could have been a lot worse.
As the details of the accident unfolded we were able to piece together what had happened. As most of you know Matt had major brain surgery in April 2006 for the treatment of an AVM. For several years after his surgery he had no real side effects but around 2009 he began to have what they call “Sensory Seizures” he was always able to get through them and had decided he did not want to take medication for them because of the side effects that seizure meds can cause, the cost of the medication, and because he felt that he was able to live a pretty normal life dealing with them on his own.
While he was driving he felt what he thought to be a sensory seizure coming on so he decided to slow down  and he began praying out loud. That is the last thing he remembers. After that he went down into a huge ditch. There were two witnesses who saw this and ran down to make sure he was ok. They could not get the doors open becaue they were locked and they saw that he was indeed having a grand mal seizure he then pushed on the gas and floored it knocking down a sign, going through a parking lot head on into a building. We praise Jesus no one else was involved!

The next thing Matt remembers is waking up in an ambulance begging them to let him go. He has no memory of the car accident what so ever and even the next few days after are pretty fuzzy. He has been placed on seizure medication now and is not allowed to drive for at least 3 months. All of these are going  to be such a a struggle for him. It breaks my heart.
Fast forward to the “What if” questions. I began to ask myself  “What if I didn’t get to grow old with Matt?” “What if he was on the highway” “What if my kids were in the car?” “What if he drove into the lake?” “What if he had killed someone?” “What if he was killed?” “What if this happens again?” “What if my kids didn’t have their dad?” “What if I was alone?” “What if this happens to me and I have a seizure while driving?”  “What if? What if? What if?” It’s like a never ending battle going on in my mind and I’ll tell you it is really exhausting. 
Watching the man who forever changed my life for the better by asking me to be his wife go through a traumatic event like this overwhelms my heart. As I sit here typing this, tears streaming down my face. I just can’t even imagine my life without Matt. He is irreplaceable. He is my other half. He knows me like no one else in this world and he still loves me. He’s the father of my children. He’s made all my dreams come true. He is my Renaissance Man. He is my lover and my best friend. 
Matt turned 31 the day after his accident. A birthday we will never forget. And as we celebrate Father’s day tomorrow I am sure I’ll have a lot of “What if’s” run through my mind. However, I will also have a heart full of thankfullness, praise, and love. Happy Father’s Day Babe! You are the Best father for Riley and Cohen. I love how I am chopped liver when it comes to you. You are so special to them. They run to you with open arms yelling “daddy, daddy, daddy” whenever you come through the door. You are caring, patient, loving, fun, honest, humble, strong, godly, wise, selfless, the perfect man to be their dad. We love you xoxo

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